unachievable perfection and unconditional love


The more I lay bare my own battle with perfection, the more stories I hear from other moms who fight the same battle. If you're feeling the pressure too, I want you to know you're not alone. I want you to know…..

I know what it's like to put the kids to bed, then curl up on the couch and sob from the guilt and shame of not being a perfect mom.

I know what it's like to rehash all of the things I did wrong in the day -  the ways in which I wasn’t 1,000 percent available to my kids, or the times I lost my temper when they misbehaved- and feel like a complete failure.

I know.

But I also know it doesn't have to be that way.

There is fresh grace waiting for me, and there is fresh grace waiting for you.  Every morning. So much grace. Life-changing, hope-inducing, joy-infusing grace.

That's the message I shared on Thursday night at the pre-launch party for Parenting the Wholehearted Child and that's the message I want to share with you today.

Because here's the deal …...

When I first began feeling the nudge to write this book I had no idea what would happen. I didn't even know what I wanted to happen. But what I did come to realize pretty quickly in all of the writing was that this book – well, it was for me. For my family.  I wasn’t writing this book because I thought I had anything to teach anyone about parenting.  I was writing this book because God had a lot to teach me about His grace- about His perfect love for imperfect people.

God wanted me to know, in the words of Tim Keller, that though I am more sinful and flawed than I ever dared believe, I am more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than I ever dared hope. 

Jesus did for you and me what we could never do for ourselves and He has forever eliminated the burden of perfection – perfect obedience, perfect parenting, perfect anything- to be accepted and loved by God.

Because of Jesus, grace is God’s final word of unconditional love for us and absolute acceptance of us.

Hebrews 4:14-16 ~ Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.  

This, my friend, is Good News.

My prayer for you, as it was for the people who joined me in celebration Thursday night, is that when you read Parenting the Wholehearted Child you will feel set free from having to achieve unachievable perfection in your parenting and set free to enjoy God's unconditional love for you and then weave it into every aspect of your parenting.

There is so much grace waiting for you!

We had some fun Thursday night celebrating God's grace.  I've shared a few photos below.  Next stop is tomorrow, April 8th, when the book launches!  I'll be at Christ Church Bookstore in Greenwich, CT from 10:00 - 11:30 a.m. signing books and I would love to see you there!






















The beautiful women who threw this amazing party!



My amazing editor from Zondervan, Sandy Vander Zicht














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