I was pushing my cart through the décor section in Target when my toddler spotted the Christmas section across the way and exclaimed, “Look Mom, it’s a Christmas tree.” Had he not been buckled in, he may have ejected himself with enthusiasm. I wasn’t surprised that my little guy was excited to see the beautifully lit tree. What did surprise me was the answer he gave when I responded and asked, “You’re right buddy. That is a Christmas tree! Do you remember what Christmas is about?” Without hesitation he responded, “Yes! Santa brings us presents!”

Since many of us are sending our kids back to school, I wanted to share some ideas on how we might do that as a #momsetfree. I hope you enjoy it and find some relief from the stress as you read it!

I'm guessing you've picked up on a theme in my writing lately. You probably know by now that I love writing about the things we’ve been set free from. We’ve been set free from the pressure to be perfect, the striving to be enough, and the need to control the outcome of all we pour into our kids. We’ve been set free from the power of sin, the sting of shame, the grip of guilt, and the weight of our worries.  And so much more.

But today I thought it would be fun to chat on the blog about what we have been set free for, because even though I don’t write about this as often, I do sense it holds equal significance for us as moms.

My husband, Mike, and I had one of our biggest fights on Mother’s Day.

We’d recently moved from our tiny apartment in NYC to a small town about an hour north in Connecticut. The thing I missed most about living in the city was the bagel shop I’d frequented several times a week.  

Friend, You are SET FREE for freedom! I pray and hope that this month has been an opportunity for you to truly discover how the promises of God empower us to parent in the assurance of His sovereignty and grace!

At the end of a difficult day, when our weaknesses have been underlined AND highlighted in the ways we have parented our kids, it can be all too easy to believe the lie that a bad day makes us a bad mom. So if you’ve had some difficult days lately, and the enemy has tempted you to think that anyone and everyone could be doing a better job parenting your kids than you, can I encourage you today.

I believe this is what God wants you to know when you fear you are damaging your kids and disappointing God.

I just love The Message paraphrase of Romans 8:38-39.  “Absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.”

Doesn’t it paint just the most tender and beautiful picture?  Jesus has embraced us!  And nothing – no sin, no shortcoming, no shame – can wedge its way into that embrace. Jesus holds us THAT TIGHTLY in His embrace. 

I recently had coffee with a friend who is a first-time mom, and her adorable baby is getting older and beginning to look more like a tantruming toddler.  She is also pregnant with her second child.  So to say she was feeling really overwhelmed and defeated on this particular day would be an understatement.

This particular friend is familiar with how my parenting journey began, which just means she knows that when I first became a mom, and I had 3 little boys under 5, I had unrealistic expectations of perfection of myself, and therefore I had unrealistic expectations of perfection of my kids. 

We need to remind each other that we’re not alone.  As my pal Heather MacFadyen says “Don’t Mom Alone.”  We need each other to remember that we aren’t the only ones who feel overwhelmed by the magnitude of influence we carry, and we feel terribly inadequate to help our children navigate the hardships they face. We know we’ve got only one shot at this, and we desperately want to get it right for them. 

But while we’re doing the very best we can to raise overcomers and world changers, and to help our kids navigate this life with confidence and humility, we often feel like we’re drowning. There is so much we can’t prevent or fix. It hurts to see our kids hurt. 

One of the questions that came up in a recent podcast I did was this: Why can it be so hard to trust God with our kids?  Is it because we think we know what’s best for them? Is it because we think we have bigger dreams than God does for them? Is it because we don't like feeling like we don’t have control over them? Oh yeh, I had to admit that all of those things tempt me to put my trust in my parenting rather than in God’s providence.