The final 10%?
Ok, so I know I said the next several blogs would be about some of the practical things we can do to lead our kids in a vibrant friendship with Jesus but…… here’s the deal. Sometimes God’s plan, and the plan we lay out, just aren’t the same plan.
I sat down today to share what I was planning to write but I felt a nudge to go in a different direction. God willing, we will get to “growing in a vibrant friendship with Jesus” in the next blog but this is what I felt I needed to share with you today.......
Several weeks ago Mike and I spent a wonderful evening with two amazing couples. Somehow the men ended up in one conversation and the women in another, and it didn’t take long for Kelsey, Nicole and I to get right to the things that matter. (One of the many things I love about Kelsey is she is quick to ask questions like, “So what’s been on your heart lately?”) No fluff, just the stuff that matters!
Nicole was bold and vulnerable enough to tell us about a poem she had just written called I Choose Joy, which is essentially about her recognizing that she had surrendered 90% to God but had struggled to let go of the final 10%. What she said pierced my heart and got me thinking, “What’s the final 10% that I’m still holding onto? What haven’t I fully surrendered to God that’s causing me anxiety, ..... and angst, ...... and fear?”
I didn’t have to think long. In fact, I knew the answer immediately.
It’s my plan. I have a plan. And as Nicole writes below, “I like my plan!” But if I know anything with certainty, it’s that God’s plan is ALWAYS far superior to my plan. Somehow that doesn’t keep me from loving my plan but when the fog clears, I can always see clearly how His ways are infinitely better than mine. (Sometimes I have been blessed with the ability to recognize this before I proceeded with my own plan, and other times, it was only after I chose my own foolish plan - and the pain that accompanied it - that God welcomed me back into the story He had written for me.)
"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says theLord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."
So with Nicole’s permission I am sharing her poem with you. No matter what your last 10% (or 40% or 90%) is that you might be holding onto, you can trust that His plan for you is good, because He is good. And you can trust not just in the PLAN of God, but more importantly, in the PERSON of God. I was reminded of this wonderful truth during a recent sermon at our church. It’s not so much about trusting the plan of God as it is the person of God.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
The poem is best described as an outpouring of my wrestling match with the Lord. One of the hardest things for me to let go of is my own plan. I like my plan! It seems fruitful to me! I've earned my plan! But at the end of the day it’s the Lord who can choose whether my plan is His best plan and how He blesses me is not a result of what I've earned. He made that pretty clear on the cross! So here goes...
I Choose Joy
Terrified to lose what I believe to be mine
Refusing to experience the love of the Divine
Squeezing my things, my plans, and my desires tight
My pride carrying burdens that He promises to make light
Longing for freedom, but addicted to the weight
Staying on the journey, but not entering the gate
Asking Him to prove His love and provision again and again
Half heartedly trusting and patient, while still asking, "when?"
Fear of surrendering control keeps me in a prison of worry and pain
But in having faith and choosing grace, I have everything to gain
Here, I lay my anxiety, my need to understand, and my future at the foot of the cross
Resting in God's love, no longer focused on what I've lost
Leaving a life where insecurity and performance are the head
Here, at the foot of the cross, I choose joy instead
Yesterday, my my mission was to perform and impress
Now, living as God's child, my calling is to bless
This beautiful poem blessed me enormously and I hope it has done the same for you.
And whatever it is that you might be holding onto, Jesus is inviting you to entrust your final 10% to Him.